I wonder how my Dad received the letter I sent to him this christmas. Usually we just send xmas cards and that's it with a quick update on what's been happening. He left our home when I was 6 and has "floated" in and out when it suited him or when I finally got jack of it and didn't see him anymore - haven't seen him in 22 years - gosh that's a long time.
After our recent trip to the Gold Coast to participate in Scott Harris' Authentic Results course in early December my life has completely changed. I have learnt so much about myself - even got to break a board with my bare hand!
So this year I decided it was time to stop carrying around all this crap that I had for so long thinking that if I had been a better daughter, perhaps he would have loved me more and not left when realistically he didn't leave because of me, it was just the story I told myself at the time.
So I used food as a comfort and built my SUPERIOR suit of armour to keep people away from me, thinking that if I looked unattractive then people wouldn't want to get to know me and then they wouldn't be able to hurt me.
Oh how things changed when we attended Scott's weekend. He finally helped me to see and make sense of what the hell I was doing to myself. I knew I had to do work on myself since having a nervous breakdown 2 years ago but was reluctant about going because I wasn't even sure if I was ready to let go of my protective suit.
Now I feel like I've lost all the weight already and just need it to fall off of me, so I can step out of it and leave it behind.
The letter to my dad was cathartic, and at first I wasn't going to even post it, but it needed to be said, it wasn't hurtful, and I don't blame him for anything, it's just time to move on, just hoped he received it well.
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