I received an email today in my inbox from a very dear friend of mine in Brisbane, a very dear friend of mine who is dying of breast cancer, it has been a long and hard battle for her. She has kept us all up to date with her journey, almost like a diary of her death and today she sent this below, no-one should have to ever write their own goodbye & thankyou email, I hope you will join me in a prayer for her at this time.
Subject: To my friends goodbye and thank you
Hello Everybody
This maybe the last email you will get from me because as a lot of you know ive been told I only have weeks to live.
Im not being dramatic its the way it is and my sister has come up from Canberra to take me out of the hospital for a couple of hours so I can tidy a few things up and send of the emails to people who dont know about the situation and to thank you all for all the love and friendship that you have shown to me over the years and also thru this terrible cancer journey.
I cant talk or cope with too much as the cancer has gone into the lining of my lymphs in my lung and the doctors have told me there is absolutely nothing else for me so Im at the mater onchology public ward for a while until they can organise palliative care.My brother has said he would come and help me but the doctors need to know that I will have someone who can be with me to help me before organising a respite centre for me to go to live out my final days (if i live that long).
I actually slept for a few hours last night for the first time in 3 months and when I woke up in the quietness of the morning at 2.30 and had time to sit and adjust and have my quiet thoughts the penny dropped of what my doctor had actually said to me on Friday.
He was extremely abrupt and my poor friend Annemarie and I were not even sure what he had said at first as he was just so nervous about delivering the news. He asked how I was and we both said dont ask and he said well of course she has cancer all thru her lungs and only weeks to live??? Annemarie asked him again what he had said and he said I dont know you and never met you before but she said weve met you 6 or more times and then he started dribbling on about all the medical situation and basically said that there was nothing could be done and that I will die.I had packed a bag and wanted to be admitted but he was a bit hesitant at first as he thought I wouldnt last the stay.
Im beginning to feel that way myself as Ive pulled up quite ill today and am coughing and have a sore throat. I think that hospital is and will and has the been the finish of me.I would probably be better off home but they are keeping me over the weekend and then will talk about things at the beginning of the week.My brother said he would help and I guess I will have to see how it goes .I have had offers from the lovely friends who came to visit me today so thank you for that too and also to Peter for postponing his trip back to China to come and help as well.
Its all very daunting and I still cant believe it and I know that a lot of you cant either and have cried buckets of tears for and with me about it.I just wanted to put in writing that I love you all very much. I know that weve had some wonderful times together and some hard ones too but I want you all to remember the laughter and my funny old ways.
My funeral is to be a celebration of life. Not only to me but to the value of my friends and what friendship is all about.I love you all very much and remember that when there maybe a quiet moment and the wind stirs up and the chimes on your front porch or back verandah may start going ballistic...its just me passing thru letting you know that Im still around.
All my love
Loox
(My reply)
Hi Loo,
Wow, what a short journey, you and I have had as friends, I don’t know what to say. I am truly honoured to have known you. You never did make it to the West, so please come and visit in the next life and see those bloody wildflowers in the Springtime.
I wish you no more pain, no more suffering and peace, finally be at peace with yourself. I’m so glad that Darran and I got to spend a few hours with you last month (last year), know that you have left lots of little “dints” in people’s hearts & I will never forget you.
Take comfort in those who will surround you in their love at this time, and remember all the good things that you’ve achieved in your short life – don’t reflect on the bad.
Be brave, be strong & when it’s time to go, say goodbye to us all with the love that you always have had and will have in your heart my friend.
I look forward to catching you in the next life and when I can hear that booming laugh of yours again.
Love always & forever,
Janice
xxx
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